This
page is about the child abuse effects that you may suffer - as a
survivor I have had all of these symptoms and I hope that by talking
about them you will not feel so alone.
Unlike a physical wound that magically heals itself child abuse causes a deep mental wound that no one can see.
You can only see the child abuse effects which may include any of the following :
Symptoms of abuse
Child abuse effects: Depression
I have suffered and still suffer from depression but what is it and how do depression and child abuse relate to each other?
Depression is extremely difficult to describe and unless you have experienced it you won't really understand what it is. It is not just a feeling of sadness that everybody feels from time to time but a feeling of deep despair.
One problem is that it makes you want to stop doing anything and it makes you want to be alone which does not really help in getting better. The first step is to recognize that you are depressed and accept it from there you can start the healing process by letting others help you or by understanding that you can help yourself.
click here for some self help on dealing with depression Some interesting information from psychologytoday.com about child abuse effects:
If you're going to take action against depression, then you need to understand that child abuse commonly underpins adult depression. In almost every case of significant adult depression, some form of abuse was experienced in childhood, either physical, sexual, emotional or, often, a combination. (Source: www.psychologytoday.com)
This relates to my situation as I get depressed remembering the past when I was abused. Abuse causes a deep wound that you can't heal with a bandage. It causes a deep depression since the abuser is probably one of the two people in your life that you trust absoulutely - your parents (or other relatives). They have brought you up but broken your trust in them.
This can cause depression that is difficult to overcome and lasts for ages. It takes a lot of time and patience and you have to work on it. Only by understanding what happened to you and coming to terms with it will you begin to recover.
Remember: What happend to you is not your fault.
In some ways you can view depression as helpful as it may be a way of your mind telling you that there is something wrong, telling you that something needs to change so that you can free yourself and live a happy depression free life.
However sometimes change is difficult and you need to take one healing step at a time going at your own pace and no one else's.
Always remember: You can get better and you are not alone.
It sounds odd but it feels scary to try and get better and it feels easier to stay stuck in the past and depression makes you feel that there is no way out and 'no light at the end of the tunnel'. Each day is hard but it is possible to heal and I know it's better than staying in the past.
It is scary, but it is a healthy adventure and you are in control.
Child abuse effects: Panic Attacks
A panic attack is another of the child abuse effects and can start at any time and anywhere for no apparent reason!
There are several symptoms:
>Trembling, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, sweating, nausea, dizziness, hyperventilation, paresthesias (tingling sensations), and sensations of choking or smothering. If you have repeated attacks or are worried about attacks then you may have what is called panic disorder [source wikipedia.org].
You may have one or all of these and you can have them as a child or as an adult!
I have not had all these symptoms but the ones I have had are bad enough.
They started with me as a child and at that time I had no idea what they were. You can be sitting in a room and be unable to move. I know that as a child and to this day I still have panic attacks and my mouth goes dry. I used feel that I needed a lot of water, because I felt so thirsty.
Sometimes I feel like I am having a bath or shower just sitting in a chair - one moment I am ok and the next it feels like someone has turned a shower on!
Other times I feel that I am choking and that there is something around my neck when there is not and sometimes I forget that I need the toilet whilst I am sitting in a crowded room, and then remember that Oh! I need the toilet.
Remember: They don't last very long and afterwards you will be fine.
I have found the best way of dealing with them is not to worry too much about them as they do not last long and I know that I will be fine when they have stopped. Each time you have a panic attack just give yourself time to relax. I am not sure why they happen but they may be telling you to slow down and take your time.
Remembter: There is no time limit to healing.
Whenever you make a change and you feel that it is too big a change, make it smaller for yourself and make sure that you are in control and happy with what you do.
Take time to think about what you are doing and if you feel very happy and content go for it. That is what I do each and every time I make any changes in my life.
Child abuse effects: Eating DissorderAn eating disorder can be another of the child abuse effects but what is it?
Food is a way of controlling how you feel. And you sometimes want to binge on food to control or ignore your feelings. You may also want comfort when you feel that you look bad e.g. you might not like how you look when you actually look beautiful.
Controlling the food you eat may be the only way you feel you can control your life.
Because of the Abuse I went through - after the physical abuse stopped I became a vegitarian and then a Vegan. In my case the abuser wanted me to become an adult and made me have beer (at about the age of 12). I became fat and hated myself and becoming a vegitarian and then Vegan was a reaction to all this - I was even diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa.
My food dissorder started when I was very young and I accidentally binge when I am troubled and I find it hard to stop. The only soultion is to be aware of it and if you recognise that you have a problem then it is the first step to healing. Be in control of your food and love yourself don't hurt yourself.
You have to know that controlling your food is not the only way of controlling your life - it's just the easiest. It's easy to stop eating but in the end it does not control anything.
Just so you know I have grown up now and have a family with three children - I still have the occasional bouts of binging but I am getting better - it does take time.
Here is some more help on eating disoders
Child abuse effects: Flash BacksA flash back is a traumatic memory and it makes you relive the memory as if you were there again. For me flash backs make me remember what happend when I was young but it's not a pleasant experience. They are like vivid waking dreams.
I think they happen so the horror of my childhood experience can be lessened - so that I can start to feel safe in the present about what happend in the past. As I progress I am remembering more about the past and coming to terms with it and I know now that I am safe.
Some practical things you can do:
[source http://www.mnwelldir.org/docs/mental_health/flashbacks.htm] Child abuse effects: Denial
Being in denial, is also an effect of child abuse. Sometimes we do not want to recognise what has happened and we just want to carry on with our lives. Also forgetting about what has happened and not accepting that the abuse happened.
Child abuse effects: ShoutingI shout a lot because I am angry with what has happened and because every time I want to make a positive change I seem to shout more!
It's because I am so angry about what happened to me - something that I had no control over and that was not my fault.
Child abuse effects: Living in FearI lived in fear of my abuser for a long time. I even have the irrational fear the the abuser is in the house - even though he does not have the address. I still imagine that he is walking up the stairs and sometimes I feel he is beside me like a ghost.
This is a dificult thing to overcome but I have recently been in touch with the abuser as I needed to confront him to find out why it happened and to be angry and at the same time to forgive.
One of the worst effects of child abuse is that you can live out your whole life in bitterness about what happened - reliving the experience again and again. You have to let go of the past - understand it - and heal from it.
I have also found it helps to have a christian faith believing in God has helped me let go of my bitterness and come to terms with what happened.
Child abuse effects: ConfidenceI had all my confidence taken away from me, beause of the abuse that happened. And slowy in time I am getting it back. It does take time and effort and you have to keeping repeating to yourself how wonderfull you are.
Child abuse effects: Feeling Dirty insideI used to feel that and sometimes feel that I have to keep cleaning myself to get rid of what happened to myself. The abuse made me feel terrible.
Child abuse effects: Lack of concentrationI find for learning and reading that my conentration is not there. I switch off, and my mind strays. So what I do a little at a time - in time that will heal.
When you are being abused at home or by a family member or close friend, you do not do well at school - well I did not.
People around you wonder why are you not doing well at your studies.
You try harder and sometimes you can block out problems but children show that when their work suffers or they are missing school that something may be wrong.
Child abuse effects: Bad self imageBecause of the abuse I have a very bad self image.
I do worry what others think of me and I do not always like myself. But I realsied that God and Jesus like me and that is great.
Remember: Eventually as you heal you will feel better about yourself and start to love yourself.
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