I have tried group councelling where everyone talks, but what I found that no one was going forward. It is nice to know that you are not a lone in the world,but staying stuck to me was not what I wanted to do. I prefer to go forward and enjoy my life than letting that idiot rule any more of my life.
So writing this web site helped me to write and always write. I did go to one to one councilling, but she was money grabbling was the wrong help, not helping me there.
Now as well as writing I talk to the Rabbi and for me that feels great. He knows me and he feels at ease to me. Yes i forgot who ever helps you, you must be at ease with the person or group you go to.
Healing from rape or abuse or even grieve as I am doing,you need to feel comfortable with the person or group. It did take me a while until I could cope with going and I did not realise how I need to go back into my past yet again. But there were things that I had not relt with.
When my papa died I was 9 nine years and i felt exactly the same as I did then and know and now I have the right help. Years ago no one helped me no one talked to me, so I had to shut up,but I dod not even talk and now I can talk and express how I feel. Everyone who dies we react differently.
I even have to rewrite my new panic attacks I have since my grandma died.
Coming to terms with this is going to be hard and scarey but I need to go forward. My grandma would not to stay stuck not would God.
There is the one councilling that is supposed to hrlpbug, we are not the same. Each one of us has our own way of healing. But some of us me too do nor always want yo open the past. Instead move forward znd enjoy going forward.
Sometimes opening up the past is just you painful and better kept close