It is hard to come to terms for me any way, that he is dying which is sad, but if it was someone else who abused me,i would not give them a second thought. I alwaays hoped that dad could become a better person and Not abuse other people which he did.
Also since he is in a tremble way in hospital. I forgive him for all the abuse he putme through, but i can not send him a card or flowers because it does notfeel roght. And i prefere to stay in control and just phone the hospital and to the nurses talk to me. I do not want to speak to him at all because i do not want him in my head. If he is really sorry i will see him n heaven when it is my turn.
I have come to terms with the fact that he lost being my dad when he abused me. I don't think going to the funernal would be right, because of the two worlds. Dad and the abuser
The Death of my Dad was a shock because all my emotional so had to shut down. Opening up myind to the fact that he has died that he could not get into my mind